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Roses and muscle cream: how scent carries memory

Visiting my grandparents for a week in the summertime was a tradition of my childhood. Each day my sister and I escaped the “seen and not heard” policy in the house to run free in the yard and at the school playground across the gravel road. Since we were rarely allowed in the front room (kept for company, of course), we always used the back door. This required a harrowing trip through the bees that swarmed the rosebushes my Grandmother had planted along the house. To this day, the scent of a sun-warmed tea rose takes me back to those days.

Scent is one of the strongest senses tied to memory. The reason behind this seems to be related to the anatomy of our brain, according to Venkatesh Murthy, chair of Harvard’s Department of Molecular and Cellular Biology. He shares that scents “are handled by the olfactory bulb, the structure in the front of the brain that sends information to the other areas of the body’s central command for further processing. Odors take a direct route to the regions [of the brain]…related to emotion and memory.” See full article.

This was illustrated for me recently when I came across a tube of Aspercreme in the grocery store. After a quick look around me, I opened the cap and inhaled the eye-watering aroma, instantly transported to a sofa in my mother’s basement. There I sat every day after high school swim practice, talking to my boyfriend on the phone while rubbing that muscle cream on my aching legs and arms. The boyfriend is long gone, but the memory is still sharp and crisp in my mind.

We all have scent memories of times past and of people who are no longer with us. Maybe it is the aroma of cookies baking, or a favorite recipe being prepared that takes you back. Or perhaps it is the leather of a well-worn baseball glove, a can of shaving cream, or the breeze coming off the ocean.

When someone we love dies, re-creating these scent memories tied to our time with them can stir warm feelings and bring us back to the times we shared. Sometimes these memories can take us by surprise, and are unwelcome, but many can bring comfort. So, buy that muscle cream, make that recipe, head to the beach, or stop and smell those roses. Your loved one will be with you there.

16 Sep, 2024
A funeral is a deeply personal and emotional event, a time to honor and celebrate a loved one’s life. While traditional ceremonies often provide comfort, adding personal touches can create a unique and meaningful experience that reflects the individuality of the person being remembered. In this blog, we’ll explore ways to personalize a funeral service, ensuring it feels like a true celebration of life while providing solace to friends and family. 1. Incorporate Personal Stories and Memories One of the simplest yet most meaningful ways to personalize a funeral service is by sharing stories and memories. Invite family members, friends, and colleagues to speak about the deceased. These anecdotes not only highlight their personality, values, and life experiences but also provide comfort to those attending, reminding everyone of the positive impact the person had on others. Consider creating a memory jar or book where guests can write down their favorite memories or messages. These can be kept as a lasting tribute for the family. 2. Create a Visual Tribute Photos and videos are powerful reminders of a person’s journey through life. A slideshow or video montage can be played during the service, featuring moments from childhood, family gatherings, significant achievements, and cherished adventures. Music that was meaningful to the person can play in the background to evoke deeper emotional connections. You could also set up photo displays or memory boards throughout the venue, allowing guests to view and reflect on different aspects of the deceased’s life. 3. Curate a Personalized Playlist Music plays a significant role in setting the tone for a funeral service. Instead of sticking to traditional hymns or classical pieces, create a playlist that reflects the musical tastes and favorite songs of your loved one. Whether it’s a favorite genre, an artist they loved, or songs that marked key moments in their life, these selections can add a deeply personal layer to the ceremony. 4. Display Personal Mementos Displaying personal items that were important to your loved one is a great way to add a personal touch to the service. These could include: Hobbies and interests: Display items related to their hobbies, such as sports memorabilia, instruments, books, or art supplies. Clothing or accessories: A favorite jacket, hat, or scarf can be displayed or even worn by close family members as a tribute. Awards and achievements: If they were passionate about their career, community work, or a special cause, displaying awards or recognitions can highlight their accomplishments and the impact they had on others. 5. Encourage Participation Encouraging guests to participate in the service can make the experience more interactive and heartfelt. Invite attendees to contribute readings, poems, or songs that remind them of the deceased. This collaborative approach brings together diverse perspectives and personal connections, creating a sense of unity in honoring the individual. 6. Virtual Memorial for Distant Guests In today’s digital age, a virtual memorial allows people who are unable to attend in person to be part of the service. You can live-stream the funeral or hold a separate online gathering where friends and family can share memories and pay their respects from afar. This ensures that everyone who cared for the deceased can participate, regardless of location. Personalizing a funeral service is about honoring the unique qualities of the person who has passed and creating a meaningful, reflective space for friends and family to grieve, celebrate, and remember. Whether through music, mementos, or shared stories, these special touches can transform a standard service into a lasting tribute that reflects the spirit of the loved one. By focusing on what made your loved one truly special, you can create a service that not only commemorates their life but also brings comfort to those who are grieving, allowing everyone to come together in a meaningful celebration of life.
03 Sep, 2024
Grief in the Classroom: How Educators Can Support Grieving Students Grief is a complex and deeply personal experience that can affect anyone, including students. When a student is grieving, the impact can be far-reaching, influencing not only their emotional well-being but also their academic performance, social interactions, and overall sense of security. As educators, it is crucial to recognize the signs of grief and to provide a supportive environment where students can navigate their emotions in a healthy way. Understanding Grief in Students Grief can stem from various sources—loss of a family member, friend, pet, or even the upheaval of a major life change like divorce or relocation. Each student will process grief differently based on their age, personality, and the nature of the loss. Common emotional reactions include sadness, anger, confusion, anxiety, and even guilt. Physically, students might experience fatigue, headaches, or changes in appetite. Academically, grief can lead to difficulty concentrating, a decline in grades, or a lack of interest in school activities. Grieving students might also exhibit behavioral changes such as withdrawal from social interactions, irritability, or increased dependency on adults. Understanding these varied responses is the first step in providing the appropriate support. Creating a Supportive Classroom Environment Foster Open Communication Encourage students to express their feelings by creating a safe, non-judgmental environment. Let them know it's okay to feel sad or confused and that they can talk to you or another trusted adult whenever they need to. Use age-appropriate language to discuss grief and loss openly, which can help normalize these experiences. Offer Flexibility Grieving students may need time to process their emotions, which can make it challenging to meet deadlines or stay focused on assignments. Provide flexibility with homework, tests, and participation. Offer extensions or alternative assignments that are less demanding. This flexibility can ease the pressure on the student while allowing them to stay engaged in their education at their own pace. Incorporate Grief Resources Introduce grief-related books, activities, or discussions in the classroom that are appropriate for the age group. This can help students who are grieving feel understood and supported. It can also educate their peers about empathy and the impact of loss, fostering a more compassionate classroom community. Be Mindful of Triggers Certain activities, holidays, or topics may act as triggers for grieving students. Be sensitive to these potential triggers and offer alternatives or modifications when necessary. For example, if a class project involves creating a family tree, provide an option that allows the student to participate without causing distress. Encourage Peer Support Encourage students to support their grieving peers in positive ways. This could involve creating a buddy system, where a classmate checks in with the grieving student, or facilitating group activities that promote teamwork and empathy. Peer support can be incredibly powerful in helping students feel less alone in their grief. Maintain Routine with Compassion While it's important to be flexible, maintaining a routine can provide grieving students with a sense of normalcy and stability during a turbulent time. However, this should be balanced with compassion—understanding that the student may need to step away or take breaks when emotions become overwhelming. Grief is a challenging journey for anyone, but it can be particularly difficult for students who are still developing emotionally and cognitively. As educators, you play a pivotal role in supporting grieving students by creating a compassionate and flexible environment that acknowledges their pain while encouraging their continued growth. By fostering open communication, offering flexibility, and collaborating with school counselors, you can help grieving students navigate their emotions and find a sense of normalcy in the classroom. Your support can make a significant difference in their ability to cope with loss and continue their educational journey.
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